What makes Ryan Smyth cry?

25Oct07

Boy, what an emotional week for Ryan Smyth. I mean, the last time Alberta saw their Captain Canada, he was making a teary goodbye at the airport, and when the Avs got back into Edmonton, Smyth let the tears flow again thanks to a moving tribute by the Oilers organization and the Edmonton faithful. Smyth’s an emotional guy; I mean, that’s part of the reason why he earns the big bucks. He’s a passionate player and a passionate person, and he ain’t afraid to let loose and cry when things get emotional. Ryan finally decided to let some more emotional moments from his private life come through exclusively in this blog. Why me? Well, you’ll see at the end of this post.

First off, you may have missed it when some OTHER Britney Spears fan made headlines, but that douche bag stole Ryan’s thunder. See, Ryan was the first Britney Spears fan to scream, “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” and I have the picture to prove it:


The fact that Ryan’s emotional pleas were ignored for the other fan made him — you guessed it — cry even more. Unfortunately, the camera was off during that time.

Now, a little known fact is that Ryan Smyth isn’t just a great hockey player — he’s also a superhero. There’s a reason why he’s known as Captain Canada. And as Captain Canada, he was close friends with the late Captain America. At Captain America’s funeral, Smyth could be seen barely holding in his tears while representing our friends to the north as a pallbearer:


Ryan Smyth also LOVES to rock out, and when he got a chance to see U2, something special happened. You see, at some point during the set — usually during With Or Without You — Bono usually pulls a hot girl on to the stage and sings with her. However, this time, Bono pulled up Ryan Smyth. Smyth, so overcome with awe being around a guy who’s won every award in the history of time sans the Conn Smyth, just couldn’t hold it in anymore. He was, in fact, in a placed called Vertigo.

The other thing that Ryan is absolutely passionate about is Harry Potter. Yes, Smyth was there in line waiting for the imminent release of Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows. When the doors opened, Smyth — in his wizard’s robe and hat — couldn’t believe that the journey was finally over. As he pushed his way into Barnes & Noble, Smyth’s face was filled with tears.

What makes everyone cry? Weddings, of course, and Ryan was at one of the biggest weddings of the past millennium. Yes, a wedding so big that only celebrities and an intergalatic space lord named Xenu could attend.

Ryan’s top hat, by the way, was hand-picked by Tom and Katie just for the wedding.

Now the question you might be asking yourself is just how did I get access to all of these beautiful, emotional private moments from the Ryan Smyth photo albums? Well, you see, Ryan happens to be a close personal pal of mine through the magic of Facebook. And because of that, he just happened to be at MY wedding a little while back. Of course, he was so overcome with emotion that he kept stumbling into the photos.


Even though this was a formal event, Ryan was so overjoyed with his new Avalanche contract that he had to wear his hat in all the pictures. Thanks for spoiling the mood, Ryan.

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2 Responses to “What makes Ryan Smyth cry?”

  1. 1 Gary

    Maybe you can paste his mug on a player who is hoisting the Cup! Now that he is jumping from team to team for the love of money, what do the tears really mean??

  2. 2 Loser Chris

    You forgot the picture of him crying for joy the day he got his first paycheck from the Avalanche.

    Awesome post!


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