Rawk the Puck: Second Round Results!

26Apr07

First off, we’re skating a little short-handed this round as David is too busy with newborn twins to listen to Sebastian Bach, and Chris had a lower-body injury that allowed him to vote, but not get in the snark. There’s always the conference finals, though! Don’t forget to check out how we got here in the East and West, as well as who’s making all the funny comments.

#3 Vancouver vs. #8 Calgary
Representing Vancouver: Tragically Hip, Dark Canuck
Representing Calgary: Flaming Lips, She Don’t Use Jelly

Mike (Tragically Hip): Now, I don’t have anything against The Flaming Lips, but I do have something against this song. It boggles me how they’re a pretty good indie rock band but they have this one popular awful whiney song from a decade ago. Give me the Hip, and no, I’m not Canadian.

Carla (Flaming Lips): Y’know what I said in reference to the Neil Young vs Interpol matchup in the first round? The bit about, basically, how could a good Canadian grrrl like me vote against Neil…(?) Er, I feel a bit two-faced now, ’cause I’m casting my vote for the Lips here. Never really been into the Hip. Boy, now I feel like a bad Canadian. But that Lips song is so freakin’ great! And so is the video, as a matter of fact. Love it! That Hip song is just, umm, LONG.

Acid Queen (Tragically Hip): It’s really sad when the best I can come up with is “One moment on the lips, forever on the hips.” The Hip in 7.

Greg (Flaming Lips): The Tragically Hip song is kind of sad and wistful, sort of like Canuck fans themselves. But I was doing the early-’90s slow-headbang within the first few seconds of the Flaming Lips song, so sorry, all you wistful Canucks fans.

Sherry (Tragically Hip): The Flaming Lips have very strategically been able to be both taken as a “serious artist” and “people screwing with your head, just because they can”. Unfortunately if you put this song in the line-up, I probably wouldn’t be able to pick it out from all of the other alt bands from the ’90s. Plus the red hair just reminds me of Carrot Top. I admit to being one of the people who often question whether or not Gord Downie actually sings or just speaks with fluctuating tones when he performs, but it’s still pretty hard to vote against The Hip.

Alanah (Tragically Hip): The Tragically Hip is usually a safe bet, and this time is no different. I actually like the opening riffs of those Flaming Lips, but it degenerates into whiney-as-hell. (Like Calgary, perhaps? Nah… I would never say such a thing… exactly.)

Chris: Flaming Lips

Final Tally:
Tragically Hip, 23+4 = 27
Flaming Lips, 11+3 = 14
Winner: Alanah’s Vancouver Canucks and the Tragically Hip. Enjoy it, since the real Canucks will be gone in about a week or so.

#5 San Jose vs. #7 Minnesota
Representing San Jose: British Sea Power, Remember Me
Representing Minnesota: Skid Row, Youth Gone Wild

Mike (British Sea Power): I’ve seen BSP twice now, and the first time, the singer gave a tiara made up of leaves and branches to my fiance in the front row. Apparently, he doesn’t know that I’m a hockey player. BSP is pretty awesome. Skid Row, not so much. Now if it was Van Halen, that’d be completely different.

Carla (British Sea Power): No competition here. BSP (a band that I was introduced to by Our Very Own Chris Young) blows that longhair Peterborough putz and his (tattered, *just so*) pocketful of cliches right outta the water. Gah, I hafta go lie down after those brainless geetar riffs: Weeeeeeeeahhaweeeeeahweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Good Lord. Where did I put my Tums?

Acid Queen (British Sea Power): Skid Row? Blegh. My sister used to torment me with them nonstop all through high school–no way do I go for them. Rule Britannia.

Greg (Skid Row): British Sea Power is one of those bands that I always figured I’d hate, so as you can imagine, I feel a bit foolish to find myself really liking this song. But alas — “really liking” is no match for Sebastian Bach.

Sherry (Skid Row): Skid Row – This is a tough one because I LOVE British Sea Power. They pretty much embody all the Brit Post-Punk aesthetics I am hopelessly obsessed with. But do you want to know how powerful Skid Row is? Sebastian Bach can have a recurring stint on Gilmore Girls and STILL not lose any of his credibility. THAT’S the power of Sebastian Bach.

Alanah (British Sea Power): Wow, this one worked out perfectly. British Sea Power doesn’t completely suck and even (I dare say) has some talent. Skid Row is another thing however. The only redeeming thing about that band is what they taught me about hair styling products. But as much as I value my hair, that’s not enough to save this band from elimination. Go Sharks!

Chris: British Sea Power

Final Tally:
British Sea Power, 11+5 = 16
Skid Row, 12+2 = 14
Winner: British Sea Power and the San Jose Sharks win out over hair power and stifling Jacque Lemaire defense. No, I didn’t right this for the Sharks to win.

#2 New Jersey vs. #8New York Islanders
Representing New Jersey: Bruce Springsteen, Jersey Girl
Representing the Islanders: David Gilmour, On An Island

Mike (Bruce Springsteen): The Boss is the Boss…what else can you say? Well, I guess I can also say that I don’t like Pink Floyd at all, probably cause I don’t do acid.

Carla (Bruce Springsteen): Oh, agh, I can’t stand either one of these guys. I stopped Springsteen after about 45 seconds. That’s more than enough of any Springsteen song, as far as I’m concerned. I then listened to enough of the Gilmour to decide that I should base my decision on the “extras” in both videos. To wit: it is Gilmour’s backup singer David Crosby’s & his former liver (not the one he’s using now–I mean the one he kilt and dumped by the side of the road back in the 90s) vs Springsteen’s E Street Bandmember Silvio Dante (aka Little Steven). In this context, the decision is easy. Crosby and his poor misbegotten liver are dumped over the side of Tony Soprano’s yacht into the Hudson. *glub*

Acid Queen (David Gilmour): I had this big screed all ready to go about Jersey girls that I’ve known–but I decided to just trash it rather than lower myself to their level. I’ll take Gilmour for 500, Alex.

Greg (Bruce Springsteen): No one beats the Boss.

Sherry (David Gilmour): David Gilmour – Hmm let me think about this one, the guy who did “Dancing in the Dark” or the guy who used to be in Pink Floyd. The guitar solo in “On An Island” makes me shed a tear, it’s that beautiful.

Alanah (Bruce Springsteen): Jersey Girl has got to be one of the great Springsteen ballads. Or maybe it’s just ’cause I’m a girl? But whatever, I love the song. David Gilmour doesn’t appeal to me as much. That song is how I imagine Pink Floyd if it were turned into elevator music. Devils win easy.

Chris: Bruce Springsteen

Final Tally:
Bruce Springsteen, 15+5 = 20
David Gilmour, 8+2 = 10
Winner: You can’t beat out the combination of a dude FROM New Jersey with a song featuring Jersey in the title! Bruce Springsteen and the New Jersey Devils laugh at Alexei Yashin and David Gilmour all the way to victory.

#4 Atlanta vs. #5 Pittsburgh
Representing Atlanta: The Black Crowes (from Atlanta), Remedy
Representing Pittsburgh: The Clarks (from Pitt), Hell on Wheels

Mike (The Clarks): The only reason I’m voting for The Clarks is because a long time ago, I had a music pen pal (you know, before the Internets was invented) by Pittsburgh and they were her favorite local band. Now they’re kinda successful, at least in indie terms, so out of nostalgia to pages of handwritten letters about bands we loved, I pick them. Kristy Olson, eat your heart out.

Carla (The Black Crowes): Surely I can’t possibly be expected to lissen to 5:19 worth of Black Crowes! Lame!!! The Clarks aren’t doing anything interesting either, though. I even went to their website to see if there were any more interesting tracks there… And the answer is NO. So it’s a Battle (To The Death? I’d watch that) of the Mediocre Bands!!! I guess the bad taste that Black Crowes leave in my mouth is better than the absolute lack of taste that The Clarks leave… Although I’m not sure “better” really is the right word. Nevertheless, I will hold my nose and vote for the Crowes.

Acid Queen (The Black Crowes): Hey baby, here I am
I’m your man on the scene
I can get you what you want
But you got to come home with me

Now how can you beat lyrics like that? Black Crowes in 5 (nevermind that they’re one of my favorite bands)

Greg (The Black Crowes): Atlanta got past round one, which is more that they can say in real life. I’m so proud! This Black Crowes song is kind of weak, but on the other side, the Clarks don’t have quite as much heft as you’d expect from someone titling a song “Hell on Wheels.” If the chorus was better, they might pull it off, but…

Sherry (The Clarks): The Black Crowes is the one with the ex-Mr. Kate Hudson right?

Alanah (The Black Crowes): Black Crowes are one of the brightest spots in this competition, and with one of their best tunes from their best album. (Too bad their “Remedy” didn’t do much for the Thrashers, however.) I’d never heard the Clarks before (does that make me old and out of touch?) and I kinda liked the sound. But the Crowes still take game – great tune, plus a touch of nostalgia for me.

Chris: The Clarks

Final Tally:
Black Crowes, 13+4 = 17
Clarks, 9+3 = 12
Winner: The Black Crowes have much more gumption than the real Atlanta Thrashers and pull out a win over Pittsburgh’s The Clarks. I think The Clarks have been around longer than Sidney Crosby has been alive.

Your Conference Finals:
#3 Vancouver Canucks vs. #5 San Jose Sharks
#2 New Jersey Devils vs. #3 Atlanta Thrashers

New songs representing the teams will be up in a few days to commence voting.

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One Response to “Rawk the Puck: Second Round Results!”

  1. 1 Anonymous

    This is the funniest hockey related game I’ve ever seen. 🙂

    http://www.thegreatfinnishicehockeyambulancechallenge.com/en/


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