Which Sith Lord is Gary Bettman?

16Mar07

Caution: This post contains heavy levels of nerd discussion. Reader discretion is advised.

Indulge my nerd sensibilities here for just a second, but there’s an increasing fan movement to get Gary Bettman booted out of his commissioner’s chair. There’s FireBettman.com, there’s online petitions, and even mainstream media articles are giving Bettman a hard time.

Bettman himself has said that he’s not an all-powerful overlord; at the State of the Game address at the All-Star Game, Bettman stated, “And sometimes people lose sight of the fact that while some of you think I throw lightning bolts, the fact is I do report to a Board.”

Is that true? Is he merely just a pawn of the Board of Governors? Or does exert a ton of control, just to hide it behind a politically correct statement. So I propose to you, dear reader, what is the deal behind Gary Bettman? Is he the all-powerful evil Sith Lord or is he the manipulated Sith Apprentice? Is he Palpatine or Anakin Skywalker?

In more normal terms, it comes down to whether or not Bettman is the manipulator or being manipulated. Ok fellow nerds, time to turn on your Star Wars encyclopedia for this.

Scenario 1: Gary Bettman as Palpatine
Senator Palpatine rose from being a mere senator from the Naboo system to claiming power, sweeping out a tired and weary regime with the promise of peace and prosperity. Manipulating the senate, Palpatine created a war to divide his Jedi enemies, extended his own political power, and eventually framed the Jedi, splintering the order and cementing his role as Emperor of the Galaxy.

Gary Bettman rose from being a mere executive from the NBA to claiming power as NHL commissioner, sweeping out a tired and weary regime with the promise of expansion and television money. Manipulating the Board of Governors, Bettman created a lockout to divide his NHLPA enemies, extended his own political power, and eventually framed the NHLPA as the bad guys in the public eye, splintering the PA and canning Bob Goodenow and cementing his role as Emperor of the NHL.

Scenario 2: Gary Bettman as Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker was brought to the Jedi Council as The Chosen One — the one who would bring balance to the force. Unfortunately, Anakin didn’t always know the ways of the Jedi properly and there would often be embarrassing complications. As a conflict with a separatist group becomes an all-out war, Anakin becomes a destructive pawn of the Sith. While he is a henchman and does their bidding in an effort to crush the separatists, and ultimately, the Old Republic, Anakin is merely manipulated by higher powers. The true face of evil is an ancient power controlling everything from behind the scenes to create a new world order.

Gary Bettman was brought to the NHL as The Chosen One — the one who would bring American success to the game. Unfortunately, Bettman didn’t always understand hockey properly and there would often be embarrassing complications. As a conflict with the NHLPA became a season-killing lockout, Bettman becomes a destructive pawn of the Board of Governors. While he is a henchman and does their public bidding to crush the NHLPA, and ultimately, the Old NHL, Bettman is merely manipulated by higher powers. The true face of evil are ancient powers (Bill Wirtz, Jeremy Jacobs, etc.) controlling everything from behind the scenes to create a new profitable world.

So, is Bettman the true face of evil seeking power or is he just a puppet for the Board of Governors and their quest for profit? Tell us what you think in the poll below:

Which Sith Lord is Gary Bettman?
Palpatine — he’s pure evil, MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Anakin Skywalker — he’s just a manipulated pawn. NOOOOOOOOO!
Wow, what a bunch of nerds!
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5 Responses to “Which Sith Lord is Gary Bettman?”

  1. 1 Anonymous

    I don’t know who he is, but Bill Wirtz is Jaba the Hut.

  2. 2 Sherry

    I’m going to have to go with Anakin Skywalker:

    So much promise and hope. Backfired and blew up in the most horrible manner possible.

  3. 3 RCHAMMER

    I went with Anakin to. Am I right?

    RC Hammer

    http://theflippingsweetblogtwo.blogspot.com

  4. 4 Michael

    I will placate your nerdy-ness and offer a link to generate your own Darth name.

    http://www.seventhsanctum.com/generate.php?Genname=darthmaker

  5. 5 Christy Hammond

    Haha. This is an awesome discussion. Star Wars & Hockey.


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